I took the past year off from blogging because I felt the Lord instructing me to be still. There are several scriptures in the Bible on stillness. A few of my favorite are as follows:
During this past year, I also met the love of my life and I am excited about the trajectory of our relationship. He is a God-fearing, educated, hard-working man that loves me and my children. He is also a father, so he understands parenting. When I see him interact with RJ and Jordyn, I am reminded of Gods love. I am truly thankful.
I am also excited for what God has instructed me to do professionally in both the short term and long term. I will continue blogging and vlogging, as there is so much to discuss in the world we live in. I am also excited to speak with, mentor, and encourage domestic violence survivors. Lastly, I am always writing sooooooo….don’t be surprised if I drop a new book over the next year or so. Who knows? 😊
What I know for sure is that God is so good. HE is so faithful! I appreciate all of your prayers and continued support!
Love and light,
Surprise! I released early! "Let's Be Honest, Sis" is out now! I pray this guided workbook will bless your life!
A December 2020 Wall Street Journal column about Dr. Jill Biden angered me for so many reasons. Writer Joseph Epstein penned the following “Madame First Lady – Mrs. Biden – Jill – kiddo: a bit of advice on what might seem like a small but I think is not an unimportant matter. Any chance you might drop the ‘Dr.’ before your name? Dr. Jill Biden’ sounds and feels a touch fraudulent, not to mention comical.” Mr. Epstein is wrong on so many levels. What is ironic is that the word “doctor” is derived from the Latin word for “teacher.” Scholars used this word dating back to the 14th century, long before medical professionals.
I was so appalled by his writings that I had a difficult time sleeping that evening. I took this assault personal, as I could relate to Dr. Biden in a myriad of ways. She and I both have four degrees, including a Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership. She and I both worked extremely hard for this degree as we dedicated countless of hours to courses and research. Dr. Biden experienced tragic loss in January 2015 with the loss of her stepson; Beau. My father passed away two months later. We both began our doctoral pursuits as wives and mothers although my husband passed away during my first year in the doctoral program at Dallas Baptist University.
It is unfortunate that two women who have overcome the obstacles I’ve described still do not receive the simple (and earned) acknowledgement of being called ‘Dr’ by some men. My personal concern is not just isolated to gender discrimination, I believe race also plays a factor.
I graduated from Dallas Baptist University in August 2020. My colleagues have been supportive for the most part, however, there are still individuals that intentionally refer to me as Ms. Bussle. I believe it is intentional because I have gently corrected these people and they still repeat the behavior. The culprits are all white and mostly men. Is it too much for the white male ego to acknowledge a black woman’s accomplishment? Does their envy rear its ugly head when they have not earned these same credentials? Do they secretly feel “who does she think she is?” My beliefs were affirmed when I saw the zoom meeting exchange between Tony Collins, a North Carolina city council member, and Dr. Carrie Rosario. The city council fired Mr. Collins for refusing to acknowledge Dr. Rosario as ‘Dr’ even after she corrected him. This exchange was a reminder to me that Black women are often dismissed regardless of our level of education.
I have personal relationships with many of my colleagues, therefore, I am simply “Jeannita” to them, as I should be. What becomes problematic is when I am being introduced to parents in a meeting or through correspondence. I also have a problem with coworkers whom I have no personal relationship with referring to me as Ms. Bussle. My professional title and earned honorific is Dr. Bussle. The end.
I shared my concerns with an African American colleague whom also holds a doctorate degree. This person agreed with my sentiments; the disrespect is intentional. Moving forward, if and when I feel disrespected in a professional environment I am going to correct the culprit publicly. I will be professional, yet assertive.
I am deeply curious to know what some of you feel about this topic. Feel free to send me an email at email@example.com I would love to hear from you.
Love and light,
Dr. J :)
Mrs. Brandy Watts
I recently read a powerful quote by marriage therapist; Caleb Simonyi-Gindele, regarding widows remarrying. He stated, “Remarriage shouldn’t be a reaction to loneliness but should signal coming to terms with the loss and being ready to move on.” I could not agree more.
About six months after becoming a widow I began to get questions regarding dating. A 36-year-old widow is not the norm considering the average age of widowhood in the United States is 59.
I have been fascinated by people’s curiosity into my love life. It is an entire case study lol
Even my former mother-in-law told me flat out “you will find another man, Jeannita,” shortly after my late husband’s death. I have had friends with good intentions state “I’ll give you 2-3 years and you will be remarried.” I’ve ran into people that I haven’t seen in months or even years and I have caught them glancing down at my left hand to see if somebody put a ring on it.
It has been over 3 years and I am not remarried; however, I have dated and been in a relationship. The irony is that the subject of marriage is what ended that serious relationship. Surprisingly, he wanted marriage and I wasn’t ready. So long story short….....I could have been married if that’s what I really wanted.
The truth is that being with me comes with its own set of challenges. My children do not have a father. They do not get to see their dad on weekends or holidays as a part of a custody agreement. They only get to see him at his gravesite. Any husband of mine would be their father. That’s first things first.
Secondly, I’ve gotten used to being single and I actually like it. Although I take pride in being an extremely feminine woman, it’s almost as if my mental state mirrors most men. Meaning….I want my cake and eat it too. To be clear, I would have no problem going back to being a wife, however, I am content with where I am now. This fact has been problematic with the men I’ve encountered.
Third, trust is a huge factor for me. This goes way beyond infidelity. A man that keeps his word is a must. My late husband promised my late father that he would always take care of me. He said he would always love and protect me. When he broke that promise in 2017, he broke my heart and my trust of men. As soon as a man doesn’t keep his word I leave. It can be something as minor as a dinner date. My thought process is “if he can’t keep his word on the minor things, he certainly cannot keep his word on things that really matter.” This mindset does not reflect an unhealed heart. It is actually quite the contrary, as God tells us to guard our hearts. A man has to show me through his actions that he can be trusted. This comes only with time and consistent effort.
Speaking of effort…. online dating and social media have eliminated a man’s need to properly pursue a woman. What gives me the most unrest is the fact that women have made it easy for men. Quite frankly, with the plethora of ass being shown online men have no incentive to be serious with just one woman.
Has texting replaced talking? Has Netflix replaced date nights? Has sending a dm replaced real effort? Are men really taking more selfies than women for the gram? If these are the new norms I would much rather remain single.
Anywhoo….God will have to work on me if I am wrong about my perspective! Lol! Yes, I am open to remarriage, but I am doing just fine with the male friends in my life. As Mr. Gindele advises, I am ready to move on but if I ever get remarried it will not be for the sake of having a man. I am not sure what the future holds, but I know that when the time is right everything will fall in place with the right man…… Preferably a man that is over 6 feet, a good father, a homeowner, has good credit, is business savvy, and nvm…. Bye! Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!